“Sixteen More Quarterly Reports” by P.J. Kaiser
George heard the clicking of the computer keys over – or through – the partition separating the cubicles. Peter was finally starting to work on the quarterly financial statements for his division. With every click on Peter’s keyboard, George cringed slightly. George dreaded the end of the quarter because although the dishonesty was going on all the time, the quarterly financial statements not only put it in writing, but they were distributed much more widely than the monthly statements.
George lived and breathed financial statements and had a sixth sense about them. After reading over Peter’s statements quarter after quarter – eight of them in all – he started to develop an eye tick. Peter managed the finances for the division responsible for the new line of overcoats introduced by the company two years ago and he was hired at the same time the new line was introduced. George had interviewed Peter and found that he was barely qualified, but the boss was determined to hire him, so George didn’t make a stink.
Critics had panned the overcoats and fashion magazines virtually ignored them. George saw the internal news briefs indicating that some stores were discontinuing the line entirely, while others were reducing their orders. The financial statements painted a rosy picture, however. Sales were steadily going up, inventory levels were on target and margins were solid. George had questioned Peter about the statements on several occasions and Peter always had some ready answer. “They’re not doing well on the west coast, but they’re going like gangbusters in the midwest, George!” or “We’ve started some international distribution and they’re selling like hotcakes in Europe.”
George didn’t like the smell of it. He poked and prodded and eventually uncovered the truth. The actual inventory levels didn’t jibe – even remotely – with the statements. The country, and maybe even the world, was littered with these overcoats that would not sell. Peter’s boss’s job – and indeed many jobs in their division – hinged on the success of the line and so he had brought Peter in to doctor the financial statements. There were too many discrepancies for them to be mistakes or oversights. The numbers simply didn’t add up. George didn’t know how the deception had gone undetected by the auditors.
Now, as George sat in his cube and listened to the tapping next door, he knew that the numbers were fiction – fiction of the worst kind. It wasn’t fiction to entertain or educate, but fiction to subvert. George had nearly finished with his own quarterly reports, but now that Peter had started working on his, George stopped in his tracks. He couldn’t focus on his own – nonfiction – statements and beads of sweat appeared on his brow. George glanced at the fluorescent light in his cube wondering if the bulb was making him hot. He put a hand up towards the light and proved what he already knew – the heat was internal rather than external.
George stood up and stretched his legs. Maybe a trip to the restroom and a cup of coffee would help him forget what was going on in the next cube. George moved slowly down the aisle – his eye twitching with each step – into the restroom and then the break room. He eventually came back to his desk, hot coffee in hand. He settled into his chair again and as he sipped his coffee he realized his hands were shaking. He needed to tell somebody about this. This deception was like a pit that he was carrying around in his stomach. When the pit became agitated like today, it rendered George incapable of the simplest task.
George looked over at the phone list and scanned down to the name of his boss – “Alfred Tanner – 88292.” George picked up the phone, stared at the buttons on the phone and nearly began dialing. His thoughts going like a freight train, he eventually laid the phone back down. He continued to stare at the handset, willing it to pick itself up and dial. No matter how he tried to signal it, the handset remained defiantly cradled in its base.
Taking a sticky note and a pen out of his drawer, he began to calculate how many more quarterly reports would be produced before his retirement. He was fifty-six and he would retire in nine more years. Thirty-six more quarterly reports. No, surely he couldn’t survive thirty-six more rounds of this incredible stress. Maybe he could do his reports early each quarter so that he could take the day at the end of each quarter off.
Maybe he could put in for early retirement. He might be able to do that when he turned sixty. That would mean only sixteen more quarterly reports. George smiled slightly, picked up the sticky note with his calculations, folded it and put it in his pocket. He sent a quick message to Alfred Tanner to tell him that he was going home. He slipped into his overcoat, picked up his briefcase and made his way out of the building. George put his finger next to his eye and pressed, in hopes of stopping the twitching.
Ah, this is how your soul dies – one piece of paper at a time. If you pace yourself, you might just make it out before your soul dies completely.
This is a quiet piece, but all the more potent for the fact that it goes on every day, all around us.
Tony – glad you liked this piece. Yes, in one way or another i’m sure it’s happening in offices everywhere. Thx for your comment!
My stomach is now all twisted with anxiety. Though my eye is not twitching.
Poor George. I hope the stress won’t get him before the 16 quarterly reports are done.
Nice inside-the-head story of a person getting no joy or validation from his work environment.
Marisa – I’m so glad you like this – the countdown begins to see if he outlasts the reports! Sorry to make you all anxious, but i’m glad it resonated with you! Thx for your comment!
That’s horror of the worst kind … reality based. You did a great job of building up the tension and George was completely believable. I could feel his frustration and confusion. Since you wrote this last minute, I’m hoping it’s not something you’re experiencing. It would be too dreadful!
In any case, Congratulations! You got your Friday Flash done and done well! I really enjoyed it. ~ Olivia
Olivia – Thanks so much for your comment – I’m so glad you liked my story! Fortunately, this is pure fiction – that is to say, it’s not something i’m experiencing. I’m sure it’s happening, though!
No, George, pick up the phone. Make the call, but not to the boss, he’s a crooked as Peter.
Nice internal conflict going on here, but I was disappointed he wimped out in the end. Probably realistic, but sad.
~jon
Jon – Thanks so much for stopping by! Yes, i’m sort of disappointed in George, too, but he’s so close to retirement and the role of whistleblower is difficult. He’s clearly conflicted about it, tho! Maybe he’ll change his mind next quarter …
Yeah, I’m thinking if he told his boss his own head would be on the chopping block, since the boss was obviously in on it. Poor guy! What a dilemma! Pick up the phone and call the press!
Ganymeder – Thanks so much for your comment! Yes, i just mentioned to Jon that the role of whistleblower is difficult – tough to say what the outcome would be if he came forward
He’s got a long time to suffer through this major stress OR gain the cajones to blow a whistle. Good piece (or not, I just got rid of my eye twitch, now I feel it tugging again!)
CJ – Oh No! I didn’t realize the eye twitch was contagious! sorry! Glad you liked the story – thanks for stopping by!
That would be hard, to track your point of freedom by how many reports you have left. I know it’s all too common though. Nice pacing to this.
Laura – thanks so much for stopping by – yes, it would be tough indeed. Glad you liked my story!
Poor guy! I was reading this and picturing GM with the word “cars” substituted for “overcoats.” These guys’ll probably get a bailout. :-/
CD
Cecilia – Thanks for your comment! It’s funny … i really struggled with what industry and product to pick for this story – the options are endless …!
WOW – this my job 8 hours a day! It’s all about a paycheck until the book deal comes!
GREAT story here.
Jim
Jim – I can’t believe you have a day job with all of the writing and projects you have! You’re a madman! Sorry your job isn’t fulfilling. Let’s hope that book deal comes very soooooooon! Glad you liked my story
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Wow! You paint a vivid picture of a man just trying to live his life and do the right thing, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Such pressure to look the other way. Who wants to blow their retirement with the whistle? Great writing here.
Thanks so much, GP – I’m so glad you like my story
I’ve been enjoying your stories as well!
Oh, that made me queasy, too much to relate to in my past! hehe!
That was a great story of the inside look of HELL! It was very well-paced and suspenseful for me!
Love the “hot cakes” reference for all us #doublelattemamapancake fans.
And, now we have an entirely new market to teach fiction writing to – so many new uses for our genre!
Lol, Anne! I didn’t even think of the “hot cakes” reference – i guess i had pancakes on the brain!
yes, there are so many people writing ~fiction~ these days … scary! Thanks for stopping by & I’m glad you liked my story! 
Oh, PJ, This is so similar to my real life story 14 mos. ago. Talk about anxiety and stress. You hit it on the head, friend. Can we say, fall guy or patsy? Ha Ha, great story.
Cynthia – I’m sorry you went through that … yes, our friend George is in a pickle. Glad you liked my story – thanks for stopping by!
I love that you had him put on an overcoat at the end! Oh the delicious irony
Lily – Hee hee, I couldn’t resist! Thanks so much for stopping by
Makes me wonder what he and the boss have cooking that could account for the blatant lies on the quarterly reports. Good story.
Eric – Yes, you definitely have to imagine that whatever they’re up to runs deeper than just hiding some bad sales figures … Thanks for your comment!
So many Georges out there. They see the improper behavior and even foul play going on and find a way to avoid making that call. As always, I love your writing and the situations you create.
Mark – Thanks so much for your comment!
Sadly, there are a lot of Georges out there!