“The Artist’s Heart” by P.J. Kaiser
The opening night reception for my first art exhibit yielded more than I could have imagined. I sold four of my paintings, each around $4,000. I also received my first commission: $8,000 for a painting of a human heart. Initially repulsed by the idea, I was persuaded when the gallery owner explained the patron was a famous heart surgeon. He wanted an oversized linen canvass for his doctor’s office and I could take as long as I wanted. My final bounty came just as the reception was ending: Richard.
He came into my life that night like a surfer catching the wave of my newfound success. Through the crowd, those brown eyes of his were never far away as I saw to my customers, potential customers and patrons. As people trickled out at the end of the evening, he stood in front of the picture window by the gallery door. The track light reflected off his glasses, but I knew his eyes were focused only on me. Looking like a blend of intellectual and beatnik with an intriguing smile, he asked if I’d like to join him for a glass of wine. Questions and conversation flowed as easily as the wine in that dusky bar that April evening. And so began our romance.
The next day I bought the materials for my commissioned painting and began work in my loft studio in Soho. I studied pictures and drawings of human hearts and began framing the painting; measuring out the space on the giant canvass. In the next days, Richard and I became inexorably intertwined and the painting began to take shape. Ventricles and arteries came to life in vivid pyrrole orange, quinacridone red and cadmium red. The colors on the canvass echoed the passion screaming through my own veins.
Summer came and Richard and I savored each other and the warm breezes. We left galleries and bars behind and moved on to biking and picnicking. We explored the city even as we explored each other. A laugh here, an embrace there. A soft kiss on our picnic blanket in Central Park. It all led to a depth of feeling that startled me in its intensity and swept me away in its tight grasp. My painting took on new contours and patterns. Hansa yellow like the sunshine comprised sinew, providing a protective shell for the heart. Chromium oxide green like the leaves and grass provided soft shadows that gave the heart a depth that balanced its vibrancy.
Cooler autumn temperatures brought an inexplicable uneasiness. A pulling back, a shyness. Suddenly we found ourselves struggling to find our footing, searching for a toehold. The thread that had wound us so tightly during the summer began to fray and strain. The painting took on a surreal quality as powerful swathes of cobalt blue and primary cyan and cerulean blue came to swallow the vibrant reds.
The heart looked troubled as Richard dealt the final blow and left me as the first snow fell. Zinc white and titanium white intermingled among the blues looking like snowflakes and oxygen-starved cells.
Through my tears, I stared at the heart. There it lay on the canvass – the entire story of our love. Traces of all the colors could still be seen and they read themselves to me like a diary. Valves, atriums and veins spoke in a cacophony.
I called the surgeon and asked him if he could receive the painting that afternoon. He eagerly agreed and I arranged for the workers to dismantle the frame and roll the painting for transport. They carried the painting out and my heart sighed.
Very touching. I love the imagery of the colors of the heart turning blue and white as their love grew cold. Great story.
The arc of the romance was well presented, especially as intertwined with the pigments.
I felt a deflation at the end, a trickling out of life and energy, when I was expecting an emotional snap of a broken heart. I guess that’s how love dies sometimes, not with a bang but with a whimper. Sad, but lovely.
Amazing use of color and imagery. This is a story that will stay with me a long time.
Excellent work.
Lovely, lovely writing. Yes, at the beginning of the piece the romance is alive and the colors reflect that heady (or heart-y, heh) swirl of emotions.
And it’s all right that it ends with colors more at home on oxygen-starved cells. Many times a broken heart doesn’t snap. It just withers.
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Poetry in a colour palette. What a lovely, tender piece. I loved your use of colour to illustrate, but my favourite line was this piece of sound and space: “…Valves, atriums and veins spoke in a cacophony.”
Wonderful – really sensuous.
Simon.
Wow, this was really lovely.
Inexplicably, now I have the song “Color My World” stuck in my head. Great use of color to map the changes in the relationship.
Very visual. Wonderful metaphor for the life lived to create. Poignant… Peace, Linda
Just in time for Valentine’s Day you break our multicoloured hearts! Love the names of the colours
I really liked thie one. Had me hooked – perfect imagery. Did you research into the heart to write this?
Jim
PJ I love your images in this story! I like the juxtaposition of the painting to the romance. As others have mentioned, the use of painter’s colors tied to emotions works well here.
At first I thought that Richard was the surgeon — and in the end, you were giving him your heart to him, but then I realized that they were two different people — and that changed my perception of the ending. She’s better off giving that painting away after the relationship died.
Great use of color, and nice description of the painting taking shape. Beautiful.
Oh, wow–I love the parallel development of art and life here–so many times true (I think) in “real” life (our events leave their traces, even if barely perceptible). Are you a visual artist? You seem to know so much about color. Just by chance I was reading Kadinsky’s *Concerning the Spiritual in Art* last night, the part on color. Love that you ended with shades of blue and white. He says blue recedes from the viewer (perhaps suggesting a “going inward” here?) and white means silence (it can mean ethereal silence or pauses, like in music), but a silence pregnant with possibilities. I love that she gets rid of the painting immediately after finishing it. That chapter of her life is through–it pushes into new possibilities. Okay, enough theorizing! Really enjoyed this.
Yesterday, I assisted with a Trans-esophogeal Echo, a procedure to visualize the heart from the inside of the body. As I read your work, I was reminded of how the valves don’t simply open and close, they grab onto each other and let go in rhythm. Your story spoke to me because the heart does represent our relationships, constantly changing with the flow of blood/time, adapting to the needs of its world, grabbing on and letting go in rhythm. Well written and made me look at the world in a new way.
I loved this tale. Art students in some London colleges get the chance to visit autopsy labs and have a wander through to sketch anatomy samples etc. Though I never drew or painted, I always envied them this opportunity. The thing is, how hard it is to get the hues of any part of human anatomy right, from skin to viscera to the heart. Our bodies seem to be composed of pigments that just can’t be replicated in paint. I thought the changing shades of colour-emotion in your story pitched this rather beautifully, the ver changing palette of human feeling.
P.J. This is a great story. I love the analogy of the ‘painted’ heart to your romantic heart.
Charged with a whole spectrum of color, as well as emotion.
You write with great passion.
Love, love, love it!
This is wonderful, PJ. Such a beautiful literary and visual journey! And I love that it came from the Write On! Online contest writing prompt! Cannot wait to see what you submit!
Thanks for sharing!
Deb
Hi PJ, Are you an artist? I must say, you write like one. Beautiful. Quite different from the piece you did on the accountant! Even thought her heart sighed as the painting was taken away, I’m so glad she let it go. Now hopefully, she can move away from her heart break and on to her next work. ~ Olivia
Lovely images as the romance arced with the colors in the painting! Beautiful!
PJ, I LOVED this use of amazing colors to add a layer of complexity to your story. Colors really speak to me, and your use of the paint colors worked wonderfully!
This was a very beautifully painted story full of visuals and deep emotion!
I love the way you wove color, emotion and seasons together! This story itself is a work of art. She seems like a brave soul, too. She kept herself open to love and then let go when it was time. I think I will go out on a limb and say this is my favorite of yours so far.
Having been a painter before a writer, this really spoke to me.
Too bad she couldn’t take a bit of paint from Dorian Gray and keep the love alive.. sad tale, touchingly painted.
Great job entwining the two stories connected by the realization that the heart would have to leave her eventually, just like Richard.
Loved this!
CD
Awww
I like the mix of the colours and the passing seasons, nicely done.
You painted a wonderful picture here (pun intended). It was great to see how her painting flowed along the lines of the relationship. Great story!
Wonderful work, like a painting your prose was deft enough to give the illusion of life from all perspectives.
Loved this one PJ. I firmly believe that we store all of our emotional events in our bodies. So for her to paint her flowering and deflating emotions into a human heart? oh. so poetic.
:0)
I am utterly blown away by your amazing comments- I’m so happy that this story was so well-received! Several of you asked if I am an artist … i am quite flattered that you should even ask. No, i am an utter failure at the visual arts. In fact, i had two classes in high school for which I received something less than an “A” and sadly art class was one of them
I am a great fan of the arts, however, and although I don’t know enough about art history, I have a very high regard and appreciation of art. So, I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my *heart* (he he, i couldn’t resist) for all the terrific comments, especially Shannon who dared to say that this is her favorite story of mine so far. My goal is to set the bar higher and higher for myself so i can continue to improve. Thanks everybody!
p.s. I should have pointed out that this story came from a prompt of the word “heart” for Debra Eckerling’s Write On! online contest this month. The contest entry is to be between 200 and 400 words and this story stubbornly remained longer, so it became #fridayflash instead.
My head is swimming with heartie colors. Do you really write your Friday Flash in a flash? What would you guess your ratio of thinking to writing was on this piece? After you recognize you have a concept are you all in or does the spark actually hit after you have a lead in mind? Do you jot down points to cover or just start writing? What’s it like to be gifted and talented?
Gordon – Lol – that’s a lot of questions! I go through a revision process just like any writer. Most of my stories are written in a flurry of inspiration after mulling over a concept for awhile, but some are a bit more methodical and planned out. This story required very little mulling – it sort of hit me based on the prompt of the word “heart” and in probably an hour’s time i had a rough draft. Over the course of several days i tweaked it here and there and then friday came. I seldom if ever jot down points to cover. Flash is short enough that i can picture the plot turns/scenes in my mind before i write and as i am writing. I have no idea how to answer “what’s it like to be gifted and talented” – I’m not einstein, just your typical honor roll geek
That’s a lot of insights! Thanks much. You are good at the craft. I think typical honor roll geeks got all the self-discipline. How you SAHMs manage to focus so well in child rich environments is a wonder to the likes of me!
Gordon – Thanks very much
i don’t *always* have self-discpline, that’s for sure – it ebbs and flows 
Thanks so much for stopping by & commenting!!!!