“Trouble in the Tower” by P.J. Kaiser
Sweat streams down my face and body. My eyes linger at the windows of the white panel van but rolling them down isn’t an option. The van that holds our FBI ops center had been fitted with soundproofing but the designers had overlooked the need for a fan. Doing surveillance with the windows rolled down so that passersby could overhear our overheard conversations was rather pointless. So I sit in my seat and perspire and dream of a cold Budweiser.
I look at my watch – nearly 8pm. Harrison’s day must be close to winding down. I hadn’t heard any sounds coming from his office up on the 31st floor for an hour except an occasional rap of computer keys. This case is pretty much finished – we have already gotten enough evidence for an airtight case. I’m here to see if any other tidbits come our way before we make the arrest tomorrow. This is going to do wonders for my career – being involved in catching the mastermind of the world’s biggest ponzi scheme.
I glance out the window and see a woman approaching the tower’s entrance. I start to look away, but she is beautiful. I admire her long legs and then as she comes closer, I look at her face. My breath catches in my throat as she comes into focus. That long red hair and those long legs – it’s Eva! I close my eyes for a moment and inhale. I can still smell her perfume – a musky smell. What an incredible night that was – last Saturday night when I met Eva for the first time in a bar. She seemed to come out of nowhere and zeroed in on me. I had no objections. She was gorgeous and I somehow convinced her to come home with me. The next morning she was gone and there was a note in her place, “Thanks, Stan. See you around.” I realized, of course, I didn’t have her number or even her full name and so I guessed I wouldn’t be seeing her around.
But there she is, striding into the building like she owns the place. I wonder what business she has in the building. I am still reminiscing about last Saturday when I hear Harrison’s voice over the speaker, “Valerie! I’m so glad you made it. You look stunning.”
A soft voice says, “Thanks, Harrison.” I turn up the volume on the speaker. “And thanks for taking care of security for me. It wouldn’t do if my Alberto found out about our meeting.” Now my head is spinning as I realize that Eva has gone into Harrison’s office. How could they have met? I have run the background checks myself on most of Harrison’s friends and colleagues and I don’t remember anybody named Eva.
“I have the merlot breathing. Care for a glass, Valerie?” Valerie? Did he just call her Valerie? It must be Valerie Messner – one of Harrison’s biggest clients. In addition to the background checks on his friends and colleagues, we checked out some of his biggest clients as well to try to determine if they might be in collusion with him. Could this woman be an accomplice? If so, then this evening might not be a waste after all. I wince at the idea of my Eva being his Valerie, though. Why would she lie about her name? And who’s Alberto?
Valerie says, “Thank you, darling. And thank you for the dress. How did you know that blue was my favorite?” She draws out that last word in her breathy southern drawl.
He says, “I knew you would look incredible in it.” He is right about that.
“Thank you. Now, finish up that toast so I can drink my wine.”
“I’d be delighted. Here’s to a long and prosperous business partnership and to the beginning of a very promising personal partnership.”
Valerie giggles and glasses clink.
She says softly, “Cheers.” I imagine them tasting their wine and her leaving a bright red lipstick smudge on her wine glass as she sets it down. “Harrison, you and I have been business partners for fifteen years and I have trusted you with investing all of the earnings from my businesses. You have always treated me well. My portfolio has grown steadily over the years and the returns have allowed me to invest in expanding my companies. I have over $20 million invested with you.”
He says, “Of course, Valerie. That’s what I’m here for …”
Valerie interrupts, “I have also brought you many new clients who have in turn entrusted their investments to you.”
“Yes, I owe you a lot. You have brought me the Wilsons, the Fords, the …”
Valerie again interrupts, “And so you can imagine my surprise when I started to hear accusations about you.”
There is silence and then Harrison says in a deeper voice, “What sort of accusations?”
“Well, there are accusations circling around that you are a fake. That you have built a giant ponzi scheme and we are all just your suckers.”
He chuckles and says, “Valerie, my dear. Every successful businessman has critics and, well, I’ve made some enemies over the years due to my success. There are always people who will accuse …”
“No. These are not accusations. It is the truth. I have seen the evidence that the FBI has against you.” I loosen my tie and close my eyes. “You’re going down, Harry. But the sad part is that you would be locked away in a tiny cell where we wouldn’t be able to see your smiling face. We wouldn’t want that to happen, now would we?”
I can hear the alarm in his voice as he says, “No, no, of course not …”
“So smile, Harrison. And make it a big one.”
A single gunshot reverberates through the speakers. Then silence. I grab my radio control and shout into it, “Trouble in the tower. 542 requesting backup.” I jump out of the van and run into the entrance of the building with my gun drawn. The security guard is already on his feet and the two of us race into the elevator and try to contain our adrenaline as it rises to the 31st floor. We burst into his office and stop. He is on the sofa, slumped off to one side. His eyes stare into nowhere and blood is flowing from a round hole in the middle of his forehead. The pistol rests in his hand looking like it belongs there.
And Eva? I mean, Valerie? She is nowhere to be found. I feel for Harrison’s pulse but I know it’s futile. I phone to headquarters and explain what happened, having them seal off the building. But I know she has vanished. She clearly had everything planned out carefully. Almost as meticulous as Harrison.


She is one tough cookie!
So I’m assuming that she knew who Stan was when she went to his place that night. She certainly made everything unfold according to her plan. “See you around, Stan” indeed.
Terrific story!
Thanks, Marisa, for the early read & the comment! I’m always so nervous for the first comment – not sure whether my writing is the least bit intelligible by somebody else! (lol!) So glad that you “got it” and enjoyed it too
Thanks!!!
I “got it” fine. It’s a good story, and well told. You could have shook up the ending… given Harrison the opportunity to catch Eva/Valerie and then you have the dilemma of whether to quietly let her go, or arrest her and face the consequences of compromising the investigation.
Heh, got me thinking! That’s always a good sign.
I’ve been told by writing instructors not to attempt to do any “explaining” after you’ve written a piece, but Anton – I struggled with this exact issue. My thinking was that now that he knows who Valerie is, depending on how well she planned her “getaway” he could potentially catch her, if he really wanted to. So, it sort of leaves it to the reader to determine whether he tried to pursue her, for exactly the reason that you mention – his involvement in compromising the investigation. OK – I’ll be quiet now, I’m glad you enjoyed the story!
Great read!
I like the vehicle you used to tell this story: an almost non-player in the action, but a witness and narrator to the story. Effective.
Great crime story. Loved how it unfolded. And I like it that Eva/Valerie got away. Makes for more suspense, perhaps another installment? ~grin~. Nice job.
Exciting stuff! I think you did an excellent job capturing the mystery and intrigue of the event as you imagined it. It’s good to leave some questions unanswered.
Oh! I could just see him kicking himself (the fbi guy) when he started figuring it out. Really had me hooked, great pace, believable characters…I can see Angelina Jolie in this part. Nice use of present tense to amp up the drama, too. Well done!
I like the van, too.
I never really thought about those guys sweating their ba**s off before.
Huh!
I really liked this crime drama. I felt as though I read a lot about them. You packed many details into their conversations and this situation. Good character development – I can also see this on the big screen!
LOL – I love your references to the big screen, Anne & Shannon! Thanks, everybody, for your terrific comments. I definitely had this story implanted in my eyeballs and it was challenging to get it into words that i was satisfied with. It started out, actually as a MUCH different story and after six rewrites, this is where we are. So glad you like it
She liquidated his assets alright. Harsh! But if I’d invested with him, I’d demand the same pay off.
Cracking stuff
marc nash
Great story! LOVE that the client gets revenge. Shannon suggested Angelina Jolie in the role? Oh, yeah, I can see it.
Good story. Good misdirection with her. I thought they were in the whole scheme together, but turns out I was certainly wrong about that.
Love the crime, the revenge, the the voice. Great read!
I like the present tense and the fact that you leave open the question of how hard the agent will track her. I like stories that make me imagine other stories.
Love the suspense here PJ! As others have said, I hope you’ll do a follow-up and show us if he catches up to Eva/Valerie, and what he does with her.
Super work!
Very nice story, good suspense, I do wonder if Stan has seen the last of that femme fatale however- bad girls and bad pennies always have a way of turning up.
Dramatic visual stuff, PJ. And noir too – just switch the merlot for a smoky bourbon! I had Helena Bonham Carter in mind for the lead! Great piece PJ.
Simon.
So I guess Stan was a bit sloppy with leaving his files lying around? Men…
Nicely told!
I enjoyed this, and I agree with Simon — it’s time for the smoky bourbon.
Looking forward to more of your work.
Late to the party as usual. This was ace, and full of snappy dialogue. I like the outside viewpoint/background on Eva, err Valerie.
Valerie is one cool cookie!
Poor Stan, what a duping…